Havent posted in awhile. I miss writing. Dont know if anyone reads it, but I started this for me more than anyone else. Going to try to write more and get all the emotions out...
Last night was crazy awesome. We went to our church's Christmas party. I had the priviledge of sitting with a friend who had bypass exactly one year ago yesterday. She's lost 107lbs and looks incredible! We both enjoyed getting to have a meal with someone who eats like us =) Start with a small portion and dont finish it. I did find out a big difference between the band and bypass is that two hours later when I was nibbling on dessert - I wasnt hungry, it just tasted good. She wasn't nibbling (yay for her! I'm not there yet!) but was actually hungry again. Excited and proud for my friend but still very pleased with my decision =)
Also at the party, several people shared what God has been doing in our lives this last year. It was very powerful. I usually dont share in times like that, but I felt this year I needed to. I encouraged that if youre looking for something, stop and wait on the Lord. He has His timing, but mostly He just wants you to ask Him and wait for Him to answer. That's what it's been like for me...
Almost 7 years ago, I was lookin for love. I desperately wanted to be in a relationship. I thought that's what I needed to make me happy. And like He always does when I'm being naive and selfish, God popped me upside the head and I turned back to Him for my true comfort and THE relationship I really needed. Not 3 months later, He introduced me to my husband. I know His timing doesnt work like that for everyone, that's just my story.
This year has been the same. Last Spring, God showed me, in a very emotional way, that I was extremely dependant, even addicted, to food. Food was my comfort, my friend, my confidant. It was always there for me when I (thought) I needed it. I'd tried to lose weight and get healthy in the past, but it never worked b/c of that total dependancy. At my first consultation for the band, my counselor told of how he would be thinking about what to have for lunch and before he even got out of bed in the mornings. Through his story, God opened my eyes. He showed me how often I thought about and planned my next meal. The most heartbreaking revelation was when I realized I'd done it while being intimate with my husband. God showed me what was wrong in my life, gave me the opportunity, tools (the band), and finances to make a change, and I give Him all the glory for turning my life around.
As I started to lose and really deal with my emotional attachment to food, God started opening doors for my husband and I to deal with other unknown issues in our marriage. We thought we had a good, better than most, relationship. After going through the fire that was this summer, and truly learning to communicate and trust each other with our words and deepest emotions, fears, and hurts - I can now say we have a GREAT marriage and God is making it better and stronger every day.
My surgery was June 22. Our God-sent-roller-coaster was mid August. He used this summer to get us right with Him and each other so He could bless us more than we could imagine. We never dreamed, especially in all the turmoil, that I would be pregnnt by September. And I know it wouldnt have happened if we hadn't turned our sins over to Him and allowed Him purify our hearts.
God knows what he's doing. Ask His guidance. Listen to what He has to say. And most of all, wait for Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment